A+P Catholics and is ghettoish a word?

I'm falling behind some on these so I'm going to try and catch up. Yesterday, the fourth grade class was visited by one of our parish priests. Father is very funny when he comes, often times I feel like a horrible teacher when he is there because of the random answers by my students to his questions. When Father came he wanted to discuss Holy Week with the class and asked the class what was happening in the church right now?

Benedict is called on and says, "Holy Week."

Father responds back with "Do you mean Holy Week or HOOOLY Week?"

Benedict is puzzled, which one does he pick, so he says "I think Holy Week."

"Correct. And who can tell me when Holy Week starts?"

This is where we get all kinds of answers, like today, tomorrow, Thursday, Easter, but Regina finally gives us the correct answer and says, "Sunday."

Father then tells the children that they probably noticed that more people were at church on Sunday for Palm Sunday. He then asks, "Who can tell me what we call these Catholics?"

The children and myself have nothing to say, so he responds back with, "We call them A + P Catholics."

I'm not sure, I guess we were supposed to laugh, because he then said, "Oh, you don't get, Ashes and Palms Catholics."

I said, "Oh, I never heard that, I have only heard of CEOs."

It took Father a couple minutes, but when he got it he laughed.

Father then went into detail about each of the special days during Holy Week, focusing on the Chrism Mass on Holy Thursday. He then discussed with the children how there are three oils and how they are used for different sacraments. This is one of those moments where as a teacher, you realize how bad your students can make you look as a teacher.

Father asks, "Have you learned about the sacraments?"

Half the class, "No."

Are you kidding me, these kids have heard about the sacraments since Kindergarten and probably preschool! We talk about the sacraments all the time. In fact the children just got done focusing on the sacrament of Baptism. Father then asks to have additional time with my class, so he can talk about the sacraments. Oh, one of these days, I'm going to pay these kids back for that one.

After our visit with Father, we moved onto Social Studies. We are currently studying the Civil War, which is big stuff in my class, the boys are so interested in the Civil War and have been counting down until we started the Civil War. The students quickly learned the union and the confederate states. I brought to their attention that West Virginia was a union state and Virginia a confederate state and why did they think West Virginia became a state and a union state.

Joseph raises his hand, "Well, West Virginia is kind of ghettoish and so they decided to be a state of their own."

I responded, "Mr. G. is from West Virginia are you saying he is from the ghetto?"

The class gasps. Really no one wants to offend the principal.

Joseph decides to say, "Well, it used to be a long time ago during the war. Are you going to tell him I said that?"

The Return of the Emergency Tape

Today I was reminded of an event that happened about a month ago. I was helping a student with some math on the carpet, when Godwin walked up to me to ask if he could use the bathroom. I looked up him and saw a massive pile of tape on his pants.

So, I asked, "Godwin, why do you have a bunch of tape on your pants?"

"Well, Ms. J., I once went to the store with my mom, and they had emergency tape there, it was like duct tape. I got a hole in my pants and you didn't have any emergency tape, so I decided to use the scotch tape instead."

"Okay, Godwin, I was just wondering."

Really, I was quite surprised by the creativity of this student and that he also believes emergency tape to be for when you get holes in your clothing.

Today we were getting ready to go to computer lab and Godwin comes up to me and says he has a hole in his pants. I suggested he try out his old idea, and use the tape, but that this time he try taping from the inside. Well, again he has a massive pile of tape on the outside of his pants. When I asked him why he didn't try taping from the inside, he told me taping from the outside was easier and he didn't have to remove his pants.

The Walgreens Man

So, I'm sure you are reading the title and are wondering to yourself, what does the Walgreens man have to do with teaching? Well, I'm not sure myself, I'm not even sure how this happened or who this even happens, too.

Last night I went to Walgreens hoping to find some ink for my printer. I currently have an Epson printer and it isn't that I want to print in color, truthfully I would be happy with some black and white printing. The problem is that my Epson Workforce Printer does not want to print at all unless I replace the blue ink cartridge.

Walgreens was actually out of my ink, but I got something else that I needed while I was there. So, while waiting in line, only one person in front of me, I can't over help myself listening to this guy at the register talking to the woman in front of me. All of a sudden the song, "Cry me a river" by Justin Timberlake comes on and the guy mumbles something.

"Hmmm, what did you say asks the woman?"

The guy responds, "Oh my acapella, oh I used to be in an acapella group and we sang this song much better than this version here. I liked are version so much better."

Okay, I'm thinking wow, did this guy really say that? So, standing in line I'm already making weird assumptions about this guy who prides himself on his old acapella group who can sing "Cry me a river" better than Justin Timberlake. When he is done ringing up the other woman I walk up and he asks me, "Do you teach at?"

I said yes, still not know who this person was.

He then says, "4th grade?"

"Yes," I tell him.

"Oh, I'm the CCD teacher in your classroom on Thursday nights."

Okay, so this is like the only night CCD class I have issues with. Mostly because during conference time, my classroom got rearranged during this class. I came in for conferences and had to fix my whole classroom. I was a little angry. My other issue is that the class was damaging my dry erase markers to draw on the board.

I had enough one day, so I decided to make a note and attach it to my board. It said, "Please do not allow the children to draw on the board." I then began hiding all my markers. It is amazing how long they last now since doing that.

So, back to my story, after telling me he was the CCD teacher in my classroom on Thursday nights, he goes on to tell me, "You know I was very offended by the sign you posted in the classroom."

I said, "Well, on Friday mornings I assist with morning care and walk in in the classroom with my class, the drawings make the child laugh and yell out who drew that. I then said my other problem is that then I have to spray down my board to get them off."

He said, "Well, the children weren't drawing on the board, those were my drawings."

Today, I got out the dry erase boards to review for our math test. Sometimes the children forget I do not like the drawings on the board, so I decided to share with them last night's visit to Walgreens. Jeremy raises his hand, so I call on him.

"Ms. J. I saw that guy, I once forgot my book for homework and came back at night. I know who you are talking about."

Catherine speaks up and says, "Maybe he should draw a little nicer and then you wouldn't confuse his drawings with the students' drawings."

Blane goes, "You should have slapped him across the face, Ms. J., that was rude for him to say that."

I decided to stop the children's comments before they got worse. All I have to say now is, "Beware Mr. Walgreens man, my class knows who you are, and they don't like people being rude to their teacher!"

Who does the homework?

Every day my students and I review the math homework for the night. Students check their own papers and we go over every missed question. We go over all questions that any of the students miss. I one day told the children that if they all could get all the answers right on their homework, I would treat my class to a pizza party.

This got the students very excited, but there always seemed to be one or two that would miss one. Today as we were going over our math homework the students were beginning to miss a lot of problems, mostly with careless mistakes. So, I say to my class, "Don't you want a pizza party?"

Rose takes initiative and says to the class, "You heard her, get your parents to do you homework tonight!"

Lesson learned: Challenge the students to make a 100% on their classwork versus their homework, at least in class you can guarantee that the children are doing the work.

I will take however many God gives me!

Today my class had computer class for their special. In computer class, their teacher has an award system based off of the simple following of instructions, called Hi-5. The students have a chance to win five stickers while they are in the computer lab. When they fill their entire chart up with stickers, they have free time on the computer. The last time they were in the lab they filled their chart which meant they had free time today.

When I arrived in, I was excited to see the children playing some new games. For the past couple months they were addicted, and yes I said addicted, to Oregon Trail. When I walked in they were still on the computers and a few of them were showing me what they were playing on the computer. Then Regina calls me over to show me the game her and Lucy are playing.

Regina was very excited and goes, "I have eight babies!"

Lucy chimes in with, "I have five babies!"

"What is this game you are playing?"

Both girls, "Kindergarten!"

Regina tells me, "You have to take care of the babies."

Lucy goes, "I am going to see if I can get the full version when I go home."

I line the children up to go back to class and we start going back to class. Regina and Lucy are still discussing Kindergarten. As we enter the classroom Lucy looks to me and goes, "Ms. J. I think I want a baby!"

Did I hear that right? Did my nine year old student just tell me she wants a baby? So, I ask, "What was that you said?"

"I really want a baby now!"

I responded back saying, "Well, I guess babies are very cute and fun. How many babies would you like to have when you grow up?"

Thinking, Lucy says, "Five, but maybe seven."

We go to begin our lesson and Lucy raises her hand and I call on her.

"Ms. J. I have decided I will take however many babies God will give me!"

Spoken like a true Catholic! I praised her for her answer and said that one day when she is OLDER, I hope God will bless her with the big family she wants.

If you are interested in playing Kindergarten you can access it at the following link http://www.youdagames.com/Kindergarten-game-2337/.

Today's Life Lesson Taught by Cornelius

There seems to never be a dull day in fourth grade. Actually this morning I was having a beautiful morning with the children. They were on task and I was beginning to wonder if I would get my funny moment to blog about. I guess my children sensed that and that soon changed.

This morning my children had Spanish class. When I arrived back to the classroom, I found out that some of the children could not stop talking and Regina was passing around a composition book with a picture inside. My students love to talk, which is why I was originally having such a lovely morning with them working quietly.

I decided to take some time and discuss the issue of talking while a teacher is teaching and passing notes and pictures around the classroom. While talking to them about notes, I told the children it was a bad idea. I explained how I have found many notes, I know who some of them like and dislike, I know of a student who asked another one to marry them, and I know all about the drawing love on the beach. The children looked at me surprised that I knew all this information. I then went on to say that I keep these lovely notes and that they are going to make a great addition to my scrapbook of all their drawings they have given me.

I was ready to end this discussion and told the children, unless you are able to guarantee that the teacher or a parent isn't going to get a hold of your note, I would suggest you do not write them. But then, Cornelius takes this as a great time to share something with the class. Now before I was at this school and Cornelius was in first grade, he told the pastor who was visiting his classroom that the names of the three wise men were Larry, Moe, and Curly. So, you knew if Cornelius was volunteering to share something, it was going to be good!

He begins, "I know something about girls!"

Benedict, "Really, what is it?"

"Girls are like cars."

Benedict, "I don't get it."

With his hands rising up in the air; he answers, "Haha, what do you mean you don't get it? You always want the prettier car!"

The children were still looking at him a little puzzled. So he seeks me for help, "Ms. J. tell them I'm right."

"Well, Cornelius being that I'm a girl, I'm not the one looking for a prettier car."

"Well, I tell you my father said this, and you definitely want the prettier car, even if she is a model!"

Beware what you teach your students!

A few weeks ago my class began a unit on electricity and we have sense gradually moved from basic electricity to electromagnets. We began our unit on basic electrical safety. We ended up doing a lab where the students had to figure out how to light a light bulb. They were given a battery, light bulb, and wires. My students get very excited about science labs, but this ended up being a first for them. It was time for them to start and the kids were not starting. Then one child ended up asking me if they were going to get electrocuted. I ended up having to show each group of children that I could touch the wires to the batteries without being electrocuted. I released the kids to work again and from one of the groups, and I hear "you go first." This is so unlike my kids, who want to be the main person that does as much as possible during the lab.

Today my class was having some writer's workshop time. We have a class set of alphasmarts and the children were typing their stories. I forgot to charge them the other day and many of the boards needed to be plugged in. I plugged in the boards in different areas of the classroom and shortly after, Regina comes to me and says, "Ms. J, I predict the power is going to go out soon."

I was a little surprised, I mean I have heard of people predicting weather, but seriously, my student can predict a power outage. So, I then ask, "How do you know the power is going to go out?"

She says, "Well, Ms. J. you remember that lesson on too many things plugged in and you had to figure out why the power was going to go out."

She then starts pointing around my room and goes that computer is on, the lights are on, your computer is on, the active board is on, all these alphasmarts plugged in. If we plug in one more thing the power is going to go out!"

Things to remember: Remember what you teach your students, they always will catch you off guard and will use that time to teach you a lesson.

Chocolate Covered Mushrooms

Today we had a teacher inservice on assessments. It was actually very good, much better than some of the other teacher inservice days I have been to. I typically have a hard time sitting through these because I lose my focus easily and start to drift onto other things. Today I really only drifted once and I suddenly thought of something that happened in class yesterday during my math lesson.

This week the children have started learning basic statistics. Formulating a question, determining whether they wanted their question to be an open response or if they wanted to give choices for their sample population to pick from. We then used our results to make a bar graph, line graph, pictograph, and pie graph. The children loved these lessons because they got away from the typical addition, subtraction, multiplication and division they would normally have.

While formulating questions we then discussed how we want our questions to be valid and unbiased. So, of course the children would like to know what unbiased means. I decided to give an example question that was biased. So, I thought of what I could use as an example. I love chocolate and thought I would compare chocolate truffles and hershey kisses. I went to a student and said, "Which chocolate is your favorite: delicious soft centered chocolate truffles or..."

Before I could even finish my question, Benedict yells out, "Why would you want to eat chocolate covered mushrooms?"

In January, my class took a field trip to Wegmans. Wegmans has an awesome field trip for fourth graders on nutrition. Located by the mushrooms in a glass box were truffles. This was a big deal to my class, even myself because they cost $699.99 a pound. This apparently was such a remembered event by Benedict, that he immediately thought I was talking about chocolate covered mushrooms.

Things to remember: When giving an example for children, make sure your examples are ones that children will know or they might think you love to eat chocolate covered mushrooms.

Were pictures in color when you were a kid?

On the last day of each week, my class and I will take time for pros and cons of school for the week. It is a nice wrap up for the week and we can discuss ways to improve our cons. Because tomorrow is a workday, we had our pros and cons today, on Thursday.

Yesterday, one of my students asked me if pictures were in color when I was a kid! Okay, I'm in my mid-twenties, I couldn't believe the child just asked me that. Today I decided to bring in a picture and said my con for the week was that one of my students thought I was too old to have pictures in color when I was a kid. Everyone laughed. I then pulled out a picture of when I was in fourth grade, in color. The children passed it around, this was a big deal for them!

When Godwin got the picture, (yes, you will probably see this name often), he says, "Wow, this picture is eighteen years old."

I responded back "What, I'm not that old."

So, he goes to correct himself, "Oh, I'm sorry, the picture is twenty years old."

I decided this was a good time to take out a new picture of when I made my first communion, Godwin was digging himself in a hole and making me older by the second. I passed out one of my first communion pictures standing with my brother, who is nine years older. I had just turned seven before my first communion and so my brother was sixteen in the picture.

Blane sees the picture and says aloud, "Oh, my gosh your brother is a lot older than you."

I do agree with Blane, in fact growing up with my brother, I viewed him more as a parent figure. Ever since I can remember he was always a teenager or older. But Blane doesn't stop there, I then hear him say, "He must be sixty now!"

REALLY, SIXTY! That would mean, I'm 51. Oh, this is only getting worse.

The Moral of the Story: Do not prove that your not old to your students. It only makes you appear even older than what they originally thought, just accept the fact that they think you are old. Just remember to believe deep down that you aren't!

Ms. J are you going to become a nun?

So, after spending over half a year with me, my students have become curious about my vocation. When I taught first grade, the children were so on top of that. In fact last year, my little first grade girls used to tell me their future initials, you know the ones that they will have after they get married. One of the children in that class wants to become a priest, so cute, I still remember him being so excited about his talking Jesus doll. I must admit it was pretty awesome. The girls used to tell my aide and me that they couldn't be his girlfriend because he is going to become a priest.

Fourth graders are completely different. I have a few pictures of my niece in my classroom and one on my phone. One day earlier in the school year, Godwin, sees my phone on my desk and goes, "Ms. J, your baby is cute!" So, almost all of my students saw me last year, I have no idea when they thought I had this baby and then was I to assume they thought I was married, too?

Today Lucy, whose mother emailed me about a discernment dinner being held at the church rectory, asked me if I was going to become a nun. This is a valid question, I am single and teach at a Catholic school. I said no. A few years ago I did look into becoming a religious sister. Went on a retreat in New Jersey and realized, that religious life was not my calling. Honestly it was very disappointing realizing this, they said if it was your calling the things you would have to give up, you just wouldn't be as interested in. Take for example shopping, they said that you just wouldn't be as interested, not so much for me, I could shop until I drop every day!

So, Regina comes into the conversation with "When are you going to get married?"

My response, "Probably after I get engaged."

Godwin, "When will you get engaged?"

I respond, "When God feels it is the right time."

Joseph, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Oh, dear, the dreaded question. How do I answer that? Quick thinking and I responded with "If and when I do get engaged, I will let you know, but you do not need to know if I have a boyfriend or not."

At the beginning of the year, I was dating someone, and one of the parents happened to meet him randomly at his work. They later had another meeting with him, by this time I had broken up with him and then at open house they told me they had met my boyfriend. I was like "Yeah, about that, he isn't my boyfriend anymore." I think it is best not to disclose my dating life with my students. Many were okay with the response, but others, well...

"Ms. J. will you tell us first if you get engaged?" asked Benedict.

"No, she has a family!" responded John.

"If you get married, can we come to the wedding?" asked Godwin.

"I'm not going to promise that."

"Why?" asked Odilia.

"Most people don't invite kids." said Catherine.

"Will you invite Mr. G.?" asked Godwin.

"Of course she will, she doesn't want to get fired!" said Benedict.

Note to self: If I get married, invite the principal, I don't want to be fired!

I would like some personal space!

It has been suggested that I write a book of all the funny stories that happen in my class. Although a great idea, I love sharing the stories right away, and decided a blog may be best. I am a fourth grade teacher at a small Catholic school. I love my school, despite our small classrooms!

Last Friday, I moved Anthony to the front of the room by himself. The move was made in order for him to concentrate better in class. Yesterday, Cornelius, asks, "Ms. J, why is Anthony sitting at the front of the room." Anthony hasn't had a problem with his seating arrangement, he has also expressed that he likes where he is sitting, but in order to not single him out. I said that he just needed some space, which allows him to focus better in class and praised him on his improvements.

Cornelius is a child who can make you laugh everyday you see him. He loves to talk and has no concept of personal space. There are times that I draw out an invisible line with my hand, so he knows when he is getting too close. After discussing Anthony's new seating arrangements, Cornelius announces that he would like his own section too. He feels he also can do better with focusing if he was sitting on his own in the classroom. This struck a movement in my class because today a number of children came to saying that they want their own section in the classroom because they want their own personal space! Who knew fourth graders needed personal space? Let alone Cornelius, who I have spent a great amount of time working on personal space.

Today while the children were out in music class, I decided that I would rearrange the classroom. My classroom is extremely small, so I decided to make a U-shape, more of a double-u shape with their desks. The children come in, typically they are excited anytime the desks change, but as they walked in I got some mixed reviews. Like Odilla said, "I wanted personal space, I still have people touching me." What Odilla fails to realize is that our classroom currently does not have the room where I could separate all desks and have them sitting on their very own.

To make matters worse, because of how much space this new seating arrangement took up, I did not move Anthony. He said he liked where he was sitting and I didn't have room to move his desk. His world came to a crashing end, his desk was not moved. I immediately moved his desk, it was not my intention to hurt his feelings. I currently now have two u's and a single desk now front and center of the middle u. Anthony is happy with his new seating arrangement!